Dog Snot Diaries

I write, you whine….

Thursday, August 31, 2006



Never met the bed wetter, but this is how I picture him. What is it with stalkers at Dog Snot? I leave for a few months and we have a new bitch hanging onto Geoff’s belt loop. No surprise really.

I looked at our stats. Like Neocunt, this dude spends more time on the blog than Geoff and I combined.

posted by Gordon at 2:07 am  

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Schmidt Beer

I just had a can of Schmidt beer.

It sucked.

posted by Gordon at 2:02 am  

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Damn, I love this cartoon.

I’ve had it for years.


posted by Geoffrey at 6:23 pm  

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Survivor is racist?

Sorry, I don’t know where you’re getting that. At least it’s not meeting any definition of “racist” that I’ve seen.

It’s a fucking game. It’s a fucking tv show. It’s fucking voluntary. They aren’t rounding up races and putting them in internment camps (again). If you don’t want to play, then don’t. If you don’t want to watch, then don’t.

America is made up of people who are different. We acknowledge that every day of our lives. We all know it. The overwhelming majority of us like it. We come from different races, religions, abilities, and cultures. This diversity makes us who we are as a nation.

It’s amazing to see people who attempt to put a negative spin on anything race-related. I’m always surprised to see people like Chet jump on the soapbox denouncing things like this. You think race shouldn’t be an identifier? That’s absolutely insane. Most people use race as an identifier themselves. Even you do, Chet. Heck, you put your race and immigration status second on your “about me” page. Race is who we are. We’re proud of it. I can’t drive down the street without seeing cars with bumper stickers identifying their nationality or flags hanging from their rear view mirrors.

I think Jeff Probst made some great points in his interview. This twist is edgy. It’s also going to be great for ratings. After all, Survivor is a business. But beyond that, a racist won’t win survivor. At least not an overt one. There is always the jury.

posted by Geoffrey at 9:10 am  

Thursday, August 24, 2006


Let’s waste more of the court’s time and taxpayer’s money.

Meow. A district judge has been asked to decide whether that word is a harmless taunt or grounds for misdemeanor harassment. Jeannette police charged a 14-year-old boy for “meowing” whenever he sees his neighbor, 78-year-old Alexandria Carasia.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. The old lady needs to grow some skin and find a hobby. The boy’s parents need to teach him some manners.

What a whiny waste of time.

posted by Geoffrey at 9:20 am  

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The Gods are smiling upon me!

Sweet baby Jesus! Just when I was at my breaking point, I got the phone call!

History: Over a year ago, my buddy went overseas to a hot dusty place for over a year. I got stuck watching his cat. I didn’t mind, because even though it’s a huge cat it’s good tempered. He’s also spent so much time at my house in the past, he thinks he belongs there.

For the first few months, it was no problem. He got along fine with my handicapped monstrosity. After we bought the new house and moved in though, things started to change. First, he ripped out every screen in the house. This house has birds everywhere, and he feels the need to catch them. He’s destroying them faster than I can replace them. He’s a great hunter.

Then, he got in a fight with the neighbor’s cat. The Boss went to go bring him back inside and he bit her. Off to the emergency room for a tetanus shot.

Now, he has a new gig. This cat eats non-stop. If Fred’s food bowl has more in it than his own, he pisses in Fred’s food bowl. Fucking bastard.

Thankfully, I got the call today. His dad is going to be picking him up in the next week or so.

He’s lucky. I was just going to see how long he could tread water.

posted by Geoffrey at 8:31 am  

Monday, August 14, 2006

Update on His Magnificence

Just got back from finishing a few contracts in Asia and Polynesia. I’m enjoying the travel and work, but the toll on my family is tangible. I’ve got ankle biters and they need their Dad around. Cats in the cradle, I suppose. My hope is to be financially independant before they turn ten.

After that, who gives a shit. I think I’ll plow snow in the winter and volunteer as ski patrol to get my free season pass. Maybe in the warm months I’ll run a bait/coffee shop for rednecks like myself that like to fish and drink good coffee while their at it.

I still browse a hand full of blogs when I can – Lobo, Catfish, Peapatch, Vinny, Chet, Mad Mikey, Girl, The Queen, Jeff from ALMTTR, and a few others when I can dig further.

I’m enjoying a crown and coke at the moment and often wish I could host a blogfest where we could all get together. I made one in Georgia with the crackers and had a blast. I hope to make it again in a year or two. This time I’m bringing some redbull and vodka to try and keep them awake past dusk.

I missed summer reunion with my college buddies…again. Usually when I miss it they call my home and leave, literally, over a hundred plus messages on my answering machine. Not this year. I have a new phone number and the retards weren’t sharp enough to track it down.

I converted my garage into a hangout. All the memorabilia is up on the wall. XBOX 360. Futon. Stereo. Beer fridge. Bar. Liquor cabinet. CPU. Big Screen. Work bench. Tool chest. Aquarium. Stuffed Marlin. And so on. It’s my “happy place”.

I have a few new additions for it. I apologize for the links, but I haven’t figured out this new host of ours yet. I found this sign and fell in love. I liked it so much I bought Geoff one too.

I also ran across a great product at a festival this weekend called a “Sky Chair.” Ultimate chair for the porch, camping or the “garage”.

On my spare time I like to take my boys fishing. We tried a new pond and as we pulled in I saw a guy and his son both latch onto foot long fish and dump them in their bucket. The kids were excited so as soon as we parked they made a bee line to investigate the bucket. I followed them over and talked to the Dad to see what he was using for bait. Spinner and worm. Cool, that’s simple.

Asked him what he was catching and he cockily quipped, brown trout, as though I’m an idiot for asking. Sweet, I thought, ignoring his attitude. They may be stocked but I’d rather see my boys catch trout than crappie or bass anyday.

I peeked in the bucket at his catch and realized the “expert” was really a freakin’ moron. He had a bucket full of smallmouth bass. I decided to say nothing and hoped he enjoyed the “brown trout” filets. Who the hell confuses trout with bass anyhow?

Apparently, a lot of people. The next fisherman I ran into proudly displayed his prize catch to me. Another pound or so bass they claimed was a trout. WTF? I guess meth IS an issue in our community after all.

Other than that, I’ve got little to report. I still drive a forty year old pick-up, think liberals are morons, and all Islamic Fascists should swing from trees.

Peace out Peeps!

posted by Gordon at 3:40 am  

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Open Carry is LEGAL in NH, morons..

I lived in NH for a few years. What a great state. I hope to move back someday. One of the worst things about NH is it’s proximity to Massachusetts. Eggheads from MA are used to living in a socialist police state, where big brother has his thumb on your rights, your freedoms, and your wallet.

It’s not unusual for an idiot from MA to call the cops when they see someone open carry in NH.

posted by Geoffrey at 8:22 am  

Saturday, August 5, 2006


Particularly if they are muslim extremists. Extremist nutjobs don’t mind dying for their cause. They look forward to it. They don’t mind when you die for their cause either.

Israel has no place to go but the ocean. When your backs up against the wall, you play to win.

Thanks to CNN. I couldn’t find any before/after pics of the hundreds of missile strikes in Israel, though.

posted by Geoffrey at 11:21 am  

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