I write, you whine….
Fuckers stole my cell phone last night. It’s ok. I’m not responsible for any charges. It’s insured. It has no personal information on it. The battery will be dead by the weekend unless you turn it off. A charger will cost you thirty bucks. You’ll never be able to activate it with another carrier. It’s a treo, so I suppose you can carry it around and use the calendar and camera if you’d like. You could call all my friends, but you’d have to use another phone. Hopefully, you’re stupid enough to try.
I store my phone book online, so the only inconvenience is the trip to the store to buy a new one. Karma sucks. Remember that when it catches up with you.
Now, lets have some suggestions for a new cell phone!
What’s better than a hot chick? Why, a hot chick with brains of course. Elisabeth Hasselbeck bitchslapped Rosie “the fat dumb cunt” ODonnell.
Not that it’s difficult bitchslapping an ignorant conspiracy theorist moonbat.
People fucking piss me off. Moonbats piss me off more than Conservatives. Libertarians rarely piss me off. I’m sick and fucking tired of shitbags trying to legislate my life. What makes it worse is they’re absolutely off-track with most of their legislation. People are just fucking stupid.
What now, you might ask? Mostly just the usual bullshit. I just got back from my morning run and am watching the news before heading to work. What do I see? An interview with the father of a boy killed in a car accident this weekend. Here’s the story:
Boy talking to father while driving. Boy drops cell phone. Boy bends over while driving to pick it off the floor. Boy crosses center line and hits a tree. Boy dies.
So now the father is on a crusade. He claims he’s always told his son to stay off the phone while driving (I guess it’s ok if you’re talking to Dad). He says he knows a cell phone killed his son. Now he wants to legislate cell phone use.
Great. Your son, aided by you, exercised poor judgement and lost his life. Now you want to legislate what I’m able to do. Fuck you, buddy. I’m sorry for your loss, but you’re a fucking moonbat asshat. A cell phone didn’t kill your son. Your son did something stupid and killed himself. He’s lucky he didn’t kill anyone else. I use a cell phone daily. I use a cell phone in the car. Why has my cell phone never killed me? Because it’s a fucking cell phone. I use it responsibly. We don’t need more laws. We have existing laws to protect the law abiding citizens from reckless drivers.
You can apply the same thing to just about anything. It’s not the object that’s bad, it’s the person using it. People are stabbed with kitchen knives. People are killed with circular saws. People are hit by cars. People are beaten with sticks. Should we ban them? Why? We already have laws against these violent crimes. I have sticks. I have cars. I have circular saws. I have guns. Not one has ever killed anyone. (My utility knife cut me once, but I punished it.)
Stay the fuck out of my house. Stop babying me because of morons who don’t know how to act. Leave me the fuck alone. If you want to legislate something, pass some legislation to fix that fucking pot hole at the end of my street. That would be a good use of my tax dollars.
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