Dog Snot Diaries

I write, you whine….

Monday, August 14, 2006

Update on His Magnificence

Just got back from finishing a few contracts in Asia and Polynesia. I’m enjoying the travel and work, but the toll on my family is tangible. I’ve got ankle biters and they need their Dad around. Cats in the cradle, I suppose. My hope is to be financially independant before they turn ten.

After that, who gives a shit. I think I’ll plow snow in the winter and volunteer as ski patrol to get my free season pass. Maybe in the warm months I’ll run a bait/coffee shop for rednecks like myself that like to fish and drink good coffee while their at it.

I still browse a hand full of blogs when I can – Lobo, Catfish, Peapatch, Vinny, Chet, Mad Mikey, Girl, The Queen, Jeff from ALMTTR, and a few others when I can dig further.

I’m enjoying a crown and coke at the moment and often wish I could host a blogfest where we could all get together. I made one in Georgia with the crackers and had a blast. I hope to make it again in a year or two. This time I’m bringing some redbull and vodka to try and keep them awake past dusk.

I missed summer reunion with my college buddies…again. Usually when I miss it they call my home and leave, literally, over a hundred plus messages on my answering machine. Not this year. I have a new phone number and the retards weren’t sharp enough to track it down.

I converted my garage into a hangout. All the memorabilia is up on the wall. XBOX 360. Futon. Stereo. Beer fridge. Bar. Liquor cabinet. CPU. Big Screen. Work bench. Tool chest. Aquarium. Stuffed Marlin. And so on. It’s my “happy place”.

I have a few new additions for it. I apologize for the links, but I haven’t figured out this new host of ours yet. I found this sign and fell in love. I liked it so much I bought Geoff one too.

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/hippies_use_back_door.htm

I also ran across a great product at a festival this weekend called a “Sky Chair.” Ultimate chair for the porch, camping or the “garage”.

http://www.skychairs.com/chair.htm

On my spare time I like to take my boys fishing. We tried a new pond and as we pulled in I saw a guy and his son both latch onto foot long fish and dump them in their bucket. The kids were excited so as soon as we parked they made a bee line to investigate the bucket. I followed them over and talked to the Dad to see what he was using for bait. Spinner and worm. Cool, that’s simple.

Asked him what he was catching and he cockily quipped, brown trout, as though I’m an idiot for asking. Sweet, I thought, ignoring his attitude. They may be stocked but I’d rather see my boys catch trout than crappie or bass anyday.

I peeked in the bucket at his catch and realized the “expert” was really a freakin’ moron. He had a bucket full of smallmouth bass. I decided to say nothing and hoped he enjoyed the “brown trout” filets. Who the hell confuses trout with bass anyhow?

Apparently, a lot of people. The next fisherman I ran into proudly displayed his prize catch to me. Another pound or so bass they claimed was a trout. WTF? I guess meth IS an issue in our community after all.

Other than that, I’ve got little to report. I still drive a forty year old pick-up, think liberals are morons, and all Islamic Fascists should swing from trees.

Peace out Peeps!

posted by Gordon at 3:40 am

14 Comments »

  1. Sounds like you’re doing awesome Gordon and I’m glad to hear the update from ya’.

    Comment by Sandy — August 14, 2006 @ 5:57 am

  2. The couldn’t find your number? The didn’t have to. I was there. I could have passed it out to everyone……again.

    But I was enjoying the vacation. I didn’t have time to chase people who couldn’t be bothered to show up.

    Comment by Geoffrey — August 14, 2006 @ 8:37 am

  3. I converted my garage into a hangout. All the memorabilia is up on the wall. XBOX 360. Futon. Stereo. Beer fridge. Bar. Liquor cabinet. CPU. Big Screen. Work bench. Tool chest. Aquarium. Stuffed Marlin. And so on. It’s my “happy place?.

    My father-in-law in planning on doing the same thing with a space above their garage. He’s already calling it “Man-Land.”

    As for the fish, I caught a couple of nice Smallies when I was up in Michigan visiting my parents. One of them fought like crazy and wasn’t even a keeper (15″ in MI). Hardly anyone up North eats bass anyway. They’re fun to catch, but not to eat. We actually went out for Walleyes, but only caught a few that were too small (legal limit is 14″) and didn’t want to risk getting nailed by the DNR that patrols the St. Joe River pretty heavily.

    Comment by girl — August 14, 2006 @ 9:42 am

  4. Your garage/hang out spot sounds sweet!

    As for your ankle-biters – when I was growing up my Dad was never really around. He was in the Air Force and never really spent time with me and my sis. When I went through my teenage years I really needed my dad, and he was not usually there. So I really admire the fact you have realized that your kids need you around – and have a plan to do something about it.

    Comment by Liv — August 14, 2006 @ 4:21 pm

  5. I didn\’t know teachers from Alabama did overseas contracts.

    Comment by black — August 15, 2006 @ 8:37 am

  6. Wish somebody would send me to Polynesia.

    Comment by Libby — August 15, 2006 @ 12:04 pm

  7. Now you know that we enjoyed your company, even that you slept the whole next day. We will do it again sometime without Rob next time, Cat

    Comment by Catfish — August 15, 2006 @ 6:55 pm

  8. I didn\’t know teachers from Alabama did overseas contracts.

    Comment by black — August 15, 2006 @ 8:37 am

    And I didn’t know that child molesters in North Carolina got access to computers and the Internet. You learn something new every day, eh?

    Comment by girl — August 16, 2006 @ 12:26 am

  9. “I didn\’t know teachers from Alabama did overseas contracts.”

    Dog Snot is a magnet for liberal hypocrites like black. He has the audacity to criticize teachers from the South while he’s incapable of spelling a word as simple as didn’t.

    “even that you slept the whole next day.”

    That was Geoff, not me. I had my oldest boy beating on my swollen and throbbing head with a Hot Wheel around 11. If I recall, G-off never made it out of bed until 3 PM or so. Then again, we drank until 6 AM. Our biggest mistake was finishing the evening off with the six pack of PBR we liberated from Georgia.

    Comment by Gordon — August 16, 2006 @ 2:24 am

  10. 3 PM? I think it was actually 5 or so.

    And I didn’t know that child molesters in North Carolina got access to computers and the Internet. You learn something new every day, eh?

    HA! ZIIIING!

    Now that was a bitchslap.

    Comment by Geoffrey — August 16, 2006 @ 7:27 am

  11. Problem is, it was not misspelled. This wonderful website is adding the /\’s all by itself.

    And I also didn\’t know Girl, they let fat-assed lipstick lesbian posers from Texas who can barley read but are great cashiers on the Net either.

    Comment by black — August 17, 2006 @ 12:22 am

  12. For someone who can “barley” read, I sure as hell found all of your misspellings, moron.

    Why, yes, my ass is pretty big. My not-gay husband likes it that way. And shit, I’ll take lipstick lez any day over bull-dyke. So thanks!

    Comment by girl — August 17, 2006 @ 9:43 am

  13. Ha! I’m out of town for a few days and come back to see the black blow-hole getting beaten like Hitler at a Bar Mitzvah and he STILL comes back for more.

    Barley? Barley?

    That sphincter in the middle of your face squeezes out a sloppy log and you call it talking.

    Comment by Daniel Medley — August 19, 2006 @ 6:05 am

  14. Who the hell confuses trout with bass anyhow?

    Really! Everyone knows what a bass looks like. :)

    Comment by Skerdog — August 19, 2006 @ 1:38 pm

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